Isn't it crazy how a promise often times prompts a backward pull?
For example, I kid you not, God gave me a word earlier this year that I am strong, I am healing, and I will help other people. Fam....when I tell you 5 months down the road I started to feel weaker than ever??? My normal jovial early morning prayer closet time has been replaced with feeling cemented to my bed...awake, mind you...just unable to muster the mental fortitude to get out the bed!
Maaane it's been harrrrrrd. I'm resisting the urge to feel guilty because His Word says 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and CLEANSE us of all wickedness. Mind you, I'm not even outright blatantly sinning...I just know I NEED to be spending more time with the Father [and I want to ] but for whatever reason I'm feeling WEAK in that area.
Ironically though, I'm still encouraged. I still hear from God, but not having that deep, intimate one on one time in the morning consistently has been wearing on me. I feel it in all my other relationships..they feel surfacey and shallow...I find myself looking more to impress people than truly connect ..or rather I want to connect, but it ends up being me feeling like I need to impress..and falling short. And the crazy thing is...this was not the norm not too long ago. Like, I KNOW that time with the Father is refreshing and always worth it...but lately it's been hard-pressed to get up early [aka before Eden] and get in that prayer closet.
Now, I said all that to say...I was thinking about Eden..and how in Psalm 127 God calls her an arrow:
3 Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. 4 Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.
Psalm 127: 3-4 NLT
It gave me such an encouraging visual. I told yall I got this promise then all of a sudden felt like I started going backwards...
Well #1 how does an arrow get propelled forward?
Answer: It must be pulled back
and #2 guess who is holding the Bow and the Arrow?
God.
So even when I feel like I'm going backwards, I'm still going backwards IN THE HAND of God.
And then I think about the Israelites...how God told Moses to go and free His people, then let Him know up front...bruh, ima harden Pharaoh's heart tho.
Then, when they finally do get free…they look back and lo and behold Pharaoh has not only changed his mind, but he’s brought his BEST MEN, BEST HORSES, CHARIOTS, AND WEAPONS to recapture them.
And where are they? At the edge of a sea!! So God, you mean to tell me you gone give me freedom, but yet the first thing I receive is harsher treatment from my oppressor. THEN, when he finally does let me free, I’m trapped between an ocean and an army??? God, what is this?? What did you bring me to??
Yet….the word I keep getting is…Somalia, the enemies that you see now? I promise I’ma bring em down. The water's not to hurt you, it’s to help you…cuz in the end you see, they will drown. How amazing and exciting it is that we can’t predict how and when God will free us. How mindblowing would it have been to walk through an impossibility [through a sea, on dry ground??], AND then have your enemies destroyed by the very thing you thought you would be your downfall? WOW. Only God! But the thing is…the Israelites HAD to trust God and step into the water.
Phewwww. It’s a hard, challenging, UNCOMFORTABLE lesson to learn…but even in this time where I feel like I’m going in the opposite direction of what God promised, I know that He is faithful. He is trustworthy. He goes before me and follows me, and His hand of blessing is on me. [Psalm 139]
So I write this to encourage you. If you feel like you’re going backwards and you’re a believer, you are still in the hands of the Father. That backward pull may well be to propel you forward. Don’t get discouraged or distracted by what it looks like now. If God has given you a promise [and if you read His Word..there’s plenty] then PRAISE HIM now! Don’t miss it, THIS is the time to celebrate! Praise confuses the enemy, and God inhabits the praises of His people.
Expect Him to do what He says He will do. Remember how He has come through for you before. He’s the same God. He is trustworthy, He doesn’t switch up or change. He can cause anything to work together for the good of those called according to His purpose. ANYTHING.
Be encouraged!