3/30/2020
one of my favorite past times
used to be being sad
pining over things and people
that i never should have had
ol boy didn't satisfy me then
even when I had you
but lets be real,
i never *really* had you
you were never truly mine
but thats how i wanted it to be
just be my friend
without boundaries
what a deluded ideology
i'd spend hours on your page
worshiping your image
bold in virtuality
with the real you, I was timid
I preferred to caress the idea of you
cuz in your presence
i always felt so distant
even with no space between us
i only barely grasped your essence
i always wondered what was going
on
in that mind of yours
we shared plenty of laughs
not very many words
who am i kidding?
the enemy slung you right
in front of me
you were a stillshot capture of
all my vain imaginings
simultaneously looking like
all i thought i wanted
and all i thought i wanted to be
oh what discomfort
caused by a spirit of familiarity
I say loose me now.
I'm not a slave to you Satan.
pining for the past
switch it up,
i see you baiting
so even though I
may fail and fall for the bait again
my God lifts me up
reminds me of
the joy I have in Him
He fills my life with good things
and satisfies my desires
Placed His Holy Spirit
IN me to fill me with His Love
I am THE LORD'S CHILD.
I am in a covenant.
Lord God please lift me up.
Part II
Lord God please lift me up
I am struggling with obedience
amidst this pandemic
One day I'm good
the next I'm stuck
I am alone and oh how free
to be alone with You my Lord
til I pick my phone up and get
sucked in a virtual reality
What is time spent with You?
Am I making it complicated?
Been feeling trapped in
My prayer closet
And stuck in a routine
of doing all these things for God
When He says just BE with Me
Yet I run even now
I know Him as my Abba
yet do I really know Him??
What is this part of me
that runs and hides...
He says my commands are
not burdensome
Yet inconvenience and discomfort
are all I can see
He says My burden is light,
My yoke is easy
Why is that hard for you to believe?
Trust in Me
I am a jealous God for you,
because you're dear to Me
I hate to see you chasing dreams
It's all death apart from Me
I want to fill you with good things
but will you let Me?