Chasing Dreams #QuarantineChronicles

3/30/2020

one of my favorite past times

used to be being sad

pining over things and people

that i never should have had

ol boy didn't satisfy me then

even when I had you

but lets be real,

i never *really* had you

you were never truly mine

but thats how i wanted it to be

just be my friend

without boundaries

what a deluded ideology

i'd spend hours on your page

worshiping your image

bold in virtuality

with the real you, I was timid

I preferred to caress the idea of you

cuz in your presence

i always felt so distant

even with no space between us

i only barely grasped your essence

i always wondered what was going

on

in that mind of yours

we shared plenty of laughs

not very many words

who am i kidding?

the enemy slung you right

in front of me

you were a stillshot capture of

all my vain imaginings

simultaneously looking like

all i thought i wanted

and all i thought i wanted to be

oh what discomfort

caused by a spirit of familiarity

I say loose me now.

I'm not a slave to you Satan.

pining for the past

switch it up,

i see you baiting

so even though I

may fail and fall for the bait again

my God lifts me up

reminds me of

the joy I have in Him

He fills my life with good things

and satisfies my desires

Placed His Holy Spirit

IN me to fill me with His Love

I am THE LORD'S CHILD.

I am in a covenant.

Lord God please lift me up.

---

Part II

Lord God please lift me up

I am struggling with obedience

amidst this pandemic

One day I'm good

the next I'm stuck

I am alone and oh how free

to be alone with You my Lord

til I pick my phone up and get

sucked in a virtual reality

What is time spent with You?

Am I making it complicated?

Been feeling trapped in

My prayer closet

And stuck in a routine

of doing all these things for God

When He says just BE with Me

Yet I run even now

I know Him as my Abba

yet do I really know Him??

What is this part of me

that runs and hides...

He says my commands are

not burdensome

Yet inconvenience and discomfort

are all I can see

He says My burden is light,

My yoke is easy

Why is that hard for you to believe?

Trust in Me

I am a jealous God for you,

because you're dear to Me

I hate to see you chasing dreams

It's all death apart from Me

I want to fill you with good things

but will you let Me?