[Super quick intro for context]
*Deep Sigh* One thing I'm still not used to is letting go of friends that no longer mesh with what God is doing in my life. If I'm being real, I'm a little jealous of people who have gotten to hang on to old friends from elementary/high school or even college!
For me, I've had to accept that that is just not my story. In my case, God drew a pretty distinct line of demarcation where I had to cut ties with a loooot of things and people from my past. Some were obviously toxic and admittedly were easier to break from. However, some I genuinely love to this day and so it's difficult when they resurface and I have to establish new boundaries. Deep down, my heart aches and yearns to reconnect; yet even deeper down, I know I won't have peace if I disobey God's wisdom. And thus, from a recent occurrence of said dilemma, this poem was born.
He says,
I don’t mean to bother you,
but I miss my friend.
Come again?
I hate to inform you,
but she doesn’t live here anymore,
That girl you used to know?
I’m afraid she no longer exists
You know,
The one you played hooky
From church with?
She no longer exists.
The one you used to smoke with?
No longer exists
That version of me you remember?
No longer exists
I’m new.
And I don’t think we would vibe
Like we used to
Cuz back then, you were lost
And I was tryna be lost too
And its no shade, no reproof
Honestly I’m at a loss
Of how to approach you
I fear it will be awkward
And disappointing to
Both of us
To find we are worlds apart,
When we used to be the best of friends
Crazy how that happens.
I marvel at the fragility
Of human relationships
What holds them together?
We are so different now,
Yet in some ways we may be the same
You know my face,
And you know my name.
But my outlook on life,
My ideology’s changed
No longer is Christ an option
He is the only way.
And maybe we’ve crossed paths again
So that my heart may ache.
We may no longer be cool,
But for your sake, I may oblige you
….or not
[Still praying on it]
But my wish to you,
My want for you
Is to accept an eternal friendship
That would save your very soul.
I want you saved,
I want you healed
I want you free
I want you whole
And then…..maybe when
God has reconciled you
To Himself, He can
Reconcile us to perhaps
Be friends again
But even if he doesn’t
I will allow my heart to
Remain content
And in the meantime,
I will be praying you for you,
Good-bye old friend.