Since about 2015, God has been faithful to give me a word that sets the tone for the New Year.
In 2018, that word was Rise. And the verse for it came from Isaiah 60:
1) Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. 2)See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you. 3)Nations will come to your light,and kings to the brightness of your dawn
This actually played out in several (most unexpected) ways. I all of a sudden had a notion in January that it was time to move out of my mom's house and go back to school. On top of that I felt a strong conviction to facilitate a creative event for artists to glorify Christ. Given the immense emotional & spiritual turmoil I'd experienced living on my own in my fallen state, I assumed that I was simply incapable of moving out and thriving. Not to mention, planning things has historically not been my strong suit. Hence, all these things required me to allow God to raise my expectations & beliefs about His ability to work through me.
The real rising came at the very end of the year however. I'd prayed for a job at Target once I moved to Murfreesboro and by the grace of God I got it!! Yall, the thing is: I didn't realize how stressful it would be to balance school, parenting, and working seasonal in retail. The WORST part was that somehow in this Target EV. ER. Y single one of my vices came back with a vengeance. [more on my past here] 😳 What was troubling was not just the sudden external temptations, but I felt old sinful desires bubbling back up from within me. I'm talking stuff I hadn't struggled with for years came up stronger than ever.
God reassured me that this was not coming back up for me to fail, rather it was coming up to be purged. Well thanks for the clarity God because I just felt like I was failing. I'd literally even made provision to sin a few times. Thankfully I had a strong group of faithful women in my life group to confess these things to. I knew from my past that holding all these things inside or attempting to conceal my struggles would only make things worse:
James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much
Yall, in this season, ya girl STAYED at the altar. Every single Sunday after church I just knew I had to be up there until something changed. After a couple months of intense temptation, all of sudden I felt free. It's like God literally lifted a weight off of me. Praise Him!! All of this was a strong reminder that no matter how far I think I've come, I forever need Jesus to keep me PERIODT. And from experience, I know that He is more than capable of lifting us above all that has kept us bound.
Be blessed yall.
-Mali