I've never been one to make huge New Year's resolutions, but in 2018 I did have some things that I wanted to accomplish:
Physical Goals:
Be able to do ONE unassisted pull up by the end of the year.
Be able to do the side splits by the end of the year
Increase sprint speed
Yall. Let's talk about these goals. Out of the 3, I honestly only accomplished one; BUT I WILL TAKE THAT W WITH PRIDE!! I have NEVER been able to pull up my own body weight my entire life. When I discovered I could do not only one, but TWO pull ups in October I was ecstatic!! (I'd been researching and strength training pretty consistently, but at that point I hadn't actually attempted to DO a pull up.) So there's that. As far as the sprinting? I signed up for a track meet (it was in May)...and after not really training....I bailed and didn't even go. Let's face it. Running is no fun without the team element. Now on to these splits....
they just... did not happen either. *Le sigh* maybe next year.
The rest of my desires for 2018 I don't honestly think I can describe as goals since they definitely were more Spirit led. In January, my church held a corporate time of prayer and fasting and some of the things I felt led to pray about were:
I feel like it's time to move out of my Mama's house...God is that YOU prompting me??
Plus it feels time to go back to school & finish my degree...also, God is this YOU??
Facilitate a creative event that honored God (and wasn't lame)
Long story short, God answered my questions and fulfilled the desires HE put in my heart over the course of 2018. In April (after I'd completely forgotten about my school prayer) a lady emailed me regarding the Graduate MT program. Not Gra- joo- ETT...(like I initially thought) but Gra-joo- ATE. It's MTSU's new program that reaches out to former students and allows them to finish their remaining credits with a Liberal Studies degree. YALL. I. HOLLERED. That answered two questions in one (Where/when to move and yes! go back to school).
The last desire I'd had was probably one of the hardest for me as I've never been... ehh administratively gifted. The very idea of planning an event scared the mess outta me. Over the summer of 2017, my friend Jazz and I had been talking back and forth on what it meant/looked like to be a Christian at our age in this society. I had an urgent desire to make sure my friends also knew this life changing love I was now experiencing in Christ. Yet at the same time, I know that Christians have a reputation for being unbearably corny. Especially Christian Hip-Hop. Add to that the fact that I suddenly felt out of place at open mic events I'd been so comfortable at before. I would always hear lewd/explicit poetry/songs and even atheist pieces, but I rarely ever heard anything about Christ. Long story short, I wanted to create an artist platform that would honor God in an environment that Christians AND non-Christians would feel comfortable in.
Once again...I'd practically given up on the idea until the Pastor approached me to ask if I'd be interested in leading a ministry. He suggested a single parent group or some other life group to which I politely declined. BUT! I did have an idea for a creative event which honestly to me was ministry.
So God gave me the idea for an Open Mic Kickback. When I tell you God orchestrated that WHOLE thing and all I had to do was be obedient?? From the moment I was (reluctantly) convinced to help with the youth ministry I knew that the youth building HAD to be used. It already looked like a lounge! Plus, people I served with graciously agreed to be a part of the project as well as some of my aunties (Couldn't have done it without you!). Seriously, with each step that I took, God revealed a little bit more of what to do next.
The kickback turned out to be everything I dreamed PLUS it stayed under the budget!! Not only were the artists great, but their content was positive and/or honored God which was most important. Second most important, was that people actually feel comfortable enough to talk and dance (since it was a kickback as well).
So as I look back on 2018 and marvel at how God has made provision for the desires He put in me I can't help but be overjoyed. From the open mic event, to choosing to move for school versus stay in my hometown and take online courses, to a bunch of little decisions in between, God has so strengthened my faith in His ability to lead me exactly where I need to be. (Making decisions has always been difficult/overwhelming for me!!)
Yes, I am grateful for the material things like our apartment, employment, etc, but I'm more grateful for the spiritual lessons God taught me this year...even if they were extremely uncomfortable.
I learned that:
I can ask God about ANY and EVERYTHING and He will guide me
It is best that I involve God in every decision, even my social life and emotional life
Healing can be painful and confusing; somethings will come back up to be processed and purged...be patient and don't panic! Ask God about those thoughts/feelings
Wrestling with difficult emotions/temptations is not necessarily indicative of lack of spiritual discipline...hitting walls in your Christian walk is normal
Make time for Sabbath REST; God is Sovereign; the world will not end if you stop working
It is CRUCIAL to SPEAK life; SPEAK the promises of God over your life; SPEAK positive affirmations to yourself; write these things down where you can SEE them!
What are some things you're grateful for from 2018? What things/habits from 2018 will you take into the New Year and what will you CANCEL? lol let me know in the comments below. :)